Day Nine: LOL

For those who feel like Tuesday is the new Monday….. May you keep laughing 😀

Snappy Answers to Bad Résumés

Professionals at the staffing agency Robert Half International have seen a lot of peculiar résumés. Here are some favorite gaffes, followed by wisecracks from the pros:

• Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.” (The pajama party starts at 7 p.m.)

• Tools: “Human brain 1.0.” (We’ll wait for the upgrade.)

• References: “My landscaper.” 
(A reference who will give you two green thumbs up.)

• Date of Employment: “2002–9999.” (She’s earned her gold watch!)

• Experience: “Worked successfully on a team of one.” (I assume you all got along?)

From resumania.com and Robert Half

********

No —I Prefer to Push

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car’s tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, “When were you last driving the car?”

“Last night at 11:00,” I said.

“And the tires were on it then?”

Jeremy Rice, Englewood, Florida

********

“You Need a Shorter Password.”

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

Sharon McGinley, Talbott, Tennessee

*********

Taken For a Ride

From a passenger of the Vacaville, 
California, public bus company:

Dear Sir,
I would like to commend driver Lea 
Schroeder for the following reasons:
1. She frequently doesn’t stop for me when I’m waiting at the bus stop, but she always waves as she goes by.
2. If she’s running behind, she tells me, “Sit your butt down,” in a courteous way.
3. She nearly comes to a complete stop now when I disembark, so I haven’t fallen in almost a week.
4. Although she usually gives me 
wrong instructions on which bus to 
take, I enjoy riding all around Vacaville on the different routes.
5. The way she suddenly starts and stops, rides the rear bumper of the car ahead, and pulls several Gs of force when she turns corners unfailingly 
elevates my heart rate. This has obvious health benefits.

Once again, I would like to commend Lea Schroeder for her outstanding work.

Sincerely yours,
Robert V.

From Lea Schroeder, Vacaville, California, a bus driver with a great sense of humor

**********

Taken from the Reader’s Digest. I hope you enjoyed this post.

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