Day Four: Everything. Nothing. Not Knowing.

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” — Sylvia Plath

Or maybe it is because we do not know what we really want.

First Instance – My Childhood Christmases

Moi: I want a tent, a board game, a bicycle, chocolate, a watch, a book, a piggy bank, a new jacket….. Cool box! This is the coolest gift ever!

Second Instance – My Life Ambitions Over the Years

Moi: I want to become a vet, a singer, a scientist, a farmer, architecture, painter, a talk show host….. I honestly want to do nothing! Nothing at all!!!

Third Instance – What would you like to eat?

Moi: I really want to try this new Thai place but I kind of feel like sushi but I think I will stick to Chinese. (passes a fish n’ chips shop) That smells good. Should I have fish n’ chips? But the burgers look yum!!! I don’t feel like anything actually… I’ll just go home.

**** At a completely different level****

It was a week after my final results were announced; I had completed my course and finally achieved my degree. They said with your degree and knowledge you could get almost any job. And with that in mind, I began to list a number of jobs I considered suitable for me.

It took me more than a week to compile that list. The detailed research included the type of work I would enjoy, the companies that would be worth working for, the kind of corporate culture I would like to be part of, my benefits and lots more.

At the end of it all I never even looked at that list. Would you like to know WHY?

Because none of that mattered and I never wanted them corporate jobs. While making that list everything seemed to be fancy and interesting but that is probably because I never took the time to scratch the surface beneath. Eventually when I did do that I realised that none of this is what I wanted. In fact I never really knew what I wanted.

When we find ourselves wanting everything, is it because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing? Perhaps! But many-a-time we want everything because in truth we don’t know what we want and we are too scared that if we do decide to choose we may end up with the wrong thing.

We go through life making choices; some are smart while others could have been avoided. Then we finally come to a point where we don’t really know what we want and so we think we must try and experience EVERYTHING when in actuality we want NOTHING. The dangerous bit is not about wanting everything or nothing but NOT KNOWING!

This was in response to The Daily Prompt.

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/all-or-nothing/”>All or Nothing?</a>

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