Analyzing A Women’s Foot-In-Mouth Conversation

About a week ago I was at the local cafe having a late lunch which I tried desperately to stuff down my throat. I generally prefer not to pick on people’s conversations but that day I couldn’t help but overhear three women discussing someone named Theresa.

Image from ilovepinks

The attire and body language made it clear that these women had the dough. All three of them were in their early twenties and probably came from wealthy families that could afford to pay for their designer bags and their more-than-perfect faces. Out of the three, one of the women –let’s call her Queen Bee– talked endlessly as she narrated an incident about a girl named Theresa. The other two listened attentively with constant remarks on Theresa’s behavior, personality and the likes.

The conversation soon changed lanes and went on to discuss women in today’s society. One of the other two –let’s call her Missy Dumb– began to lament at the fact that her boyfriend sees her as a sex object but ended her complaint with self idolatry talk about her perfect figure that “would make Theresa saggy baggage” in front of her.

Taken from Darwinian Gender Studies.

The conversation went on aimlessly until Queen Bee’s phone began to ring My Anaconda don’t…. My Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun. Her face went sour as she checked her caller ID before answering; the conversation was extremely polite and filled with bits of consideration:

“Awww hun, I hope you feel better. We missed you so much today”

“Love you loads…. Muaaahh”

After dropping her phone into her purse Queen Bee commented, “I spoke to my dietarian the other day. Have you noticed my butt? I am trying to get it at least a size bigger. It is so in right now; you guys should do it too.”

Missy Dumb replied so enthusiastically that I couldn’t help staring at her in shock, “Nicki Minaj has got me totally hooked on getting one. But I took like a year to get to this size so I need to get a doctor’s opinion this time.”

The other girl –let’s call her No Name– cut the topic with a question to Queen Bee, “Was that Theresa you just spoke to?”

“Oh yea, that little bitch is still upset but I have no time to deal with her emotional baggage right now. I cannot help her cope with her ugliness and depression on a Friday afternoon.”

What I heard and understood of Queen Bee’s tale was that Theresa was coping with depression and had confided in Queen Bee because as per the narrative, Theresa “trusted and looked up” to Queen Bee; she felt that Queen Bee could help her cope with her personal issues and knew that she could count on her. Turns out Queen Bee was a woman with many masks.


The conversation was an eye-opener simply because of its contradictions that baffled my mind. As I dissected my lunch and contemplated on what I had heard a few thoughts came to mind.

  • A lot of us are materialistic and to an extent it is fine to have materialistic indulgences but when owning pieces Louis Vuitton, Prada and Giorgio Armani become your life’s ambition it is time to question your shallow lifestyle. My statement is directed towards the youth of today’s generation who have college debt and a job that pays you minimum wage. Saving towards a new car makes so much more sense than saving up for a Gucci Soft Stirrup.
  • Women’s Empowerment. Women’s Rights. Women Activists. Feminism. This really needs to stop simply because it has lost its purpose. Being a woman myself, I believe in equality and what I mentioned above is NOT equality. For example, India has “ladies’ compartments” on all their trains. While almost everyone thinks this to be fair I personally believe that in such a case they must also have “men’s compartments” dedicated specially for men. And that would then raise other questions like ‘why isn’t there a special compartment for transgenders?’
  • Copy Paste. Copy Paste. Copy Paste. Copy Paste. Copy Paste. Copy Paste. Copy Paste. There is this entire class of women who imitate. Again, there is no harm to try and get your hair done like Victoria Beckham or have your make-up similar to Kim Kardashian but when you say you “want a butt like Nicki Minaj”…. I think the line has been crossed. Don’t admire Minaj’s butt, admire the confidence with which she flaunts it. Big butts were never “in” until she came along.
  • Fourth on the list is Faking It! “OMG I love your dress, you look so pretty”… turns to BFF “That is the ugliest dress I have seen”. Next scenario… “I completely understand why you don’t want to head out clubbing tonight.”… turns to BFF “She totally blew me, what a skank!” Why don’t we just say it as it is? If you don’t like it, don’t compliment. Period. If you have advice, share it; and if you have nothing good to say zip your lips.
  • Hypocrisy? There is a class of women who enjoy flaunting their assets (and why shouldn’t they?) Then there is another class that feels that flaunting leads to unnecessary attention and prefer to keep it simple (even that seems to make sense). Lastly, the class of women that I do not understand is the hypocritical one. They dress in a manner that calls for a second look, a glance and sometimes a stare, and then when they finally get people’s attention they comment on how they are “objectified”.
  • Lastly, why would you bitch and back-bite other women? One one hand there is this huge wave going on where women want to be heard and valued and so on and then on the other hand you have the female human back-biting the few people who actually care about her; I ain’t generalizing – But talk about putting on a united front.

feimineach (2014)

I wish every woman took a moment to figure out if she was a genuine human being or someone filled with worldly worries and driven by popular culture. This is not to say that men are saints but I think before we point our fingers at the opposite sex it is worth looking at ourselves.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly writing challenge: “Overheard.”

3 thoughts on “Analyzing A Women’s Foot-In-Mouth Conversation

  1. Pingback: Witness to a Murder. | Flying On Empty Thoughts

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